The Pain Of Death

The Pain Of Death "My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you--O Absalom, my son, my son!" 2nd Samuel 18:33 This was the cry of David for his dead son. It may be that you too have had a similar feeling when you have lost someone. When the cold hand of death reaches into a person’s family and snatches away their mate, child or parent, or some other loved one, the shock of loss can be the severest emotional blow of their life. Many have found grief so difficult to endure that they have suffered sleepless nights, empty days and a feeling of not knowing how to go on, especially if the one lost is a spouse or a child. This is a time when it is essential to know how to endure grief. It is not necessary to keep grief bottled up inside, hiding it behind a stoic exterior. The emotional pressure this builds up may greatly increase the difficulty of enduring it. There is nothing wrong with releasing that pressure by expressing sorrow and the feeling of loss. By permitting a natural outflow of emotion, but not to the extent of losing self-control, a person often feels better. When Abraham lost his beloved wife Sarah he did not bottle up his grief. He released it by weeping. (Gen. 23:2) David did not grieve indefinitely. He knew that the living cannot bring the dead back to life, so they must adjust their life to continue without their dead loved ones. Although David cherished the memories of his son, his grief would have been more difficult to bear if he had closed out the world around him. Many people have come to realize that they keep the emotional wound open, if they try to live in a world of memories. Some people do this by keeping a house for years looking just as it was when their loved one was living. Those who prolong their grief in this manner vainly attempt to live in the past, instead of realizing that much happiness can be theirs, if they will live for the future. The loved one a person has lost would have wanted the survivor to make the necessary adjustments so as to have a happy and productive life. The bereaved person is certain to be keenly aware of the gap left by the loss of a loved one, but the painful feeling of loss can be lessened by trying to fill that gap with constructive activities. Unselfishly doing helpful things for other distressed people has proved successful with many people who have lost their mates, or close family members. It has helped them get their minds off themselves. Perhaps the greatest barrier to enduring grief is the tendency of a person to dwell upon what he personally lost by the death of his loved one. Thinking about how lonely he or she now is, and the things they must now do that their loved one had done for them, makes their grief much more difficult to bear. But, getting their mind off themselves and on what they can do for other people, will help them find their emotional wound can heal much more quickly, and the gap in their life can gradually fill in. There is much a person can do to make their life worthwhile, if they will think of others, having love for them as they would like them to have love for oneself. The truths of God’s written Word are a great source of comfort for a bereaved person, giving them a purpose in life. They can remove the apprehension they might feel from not knowing what has become of their loved one. Through the Bible the words of God tells them what happens to a person after death, and tells them what the hope is for that person to have life once again. Because of that wonderful hope, we don't need to have the bitter sorrow, experienced by those who do not know what the Bible has said about, or who lack faith in Him because of unbelief. This dependable information does much to lessen the pains of grief. It will keep their minds occupied with unselfish and up-building activity. It will give them a reason for carrying on. Those who grieve can find strength in God by turning to Him in prayer. No matter what anyone might say, God should not be blamed for the loss of a loved one. So despite the pain of grief, never give up! Let it be your resolve to continue serving God faithfully and loyally, with the hope that you, one day will be reunited with your loved ones. Robert W. Brock My Daily Devotional Volume Seven April 18